Mothers Day

Tomorrow will be my 1st Mothers Day and I am still at a loss on how to feel about it. That may sound strange but for so many years it has been such a day of sadness for me, its hard to change your whole thought process around. My heart is aching for all of those people who aren't moms yet. The ones, just like I was last year, who see motherhood as this mystic dream that may not ever come true for them. My heart also aches for the people who always wanted kids and it was something that just wasn't in the cards for them. Either they had fertility issues, didn't find a mate at the appropriate childbearing years, or just weren't sure about parenthood and the time slipped through their fingers. You know, the little old ladies in church who don't stand when they honor the mothers on Mothers Day. I always wonder about them, and how they feel. I wonder how many fertile people think of these other women on Mothers Day, if any of them do?

I also kinda bugs me that some mothers seem so prideful, to the point of being arrogant, about being a Mom. I feel like there are people out there that act down right superior just because they have children. I don't feel this way at all. I feel HONORED. I feel like it should be ME thanking God and thanking my family for letting me be a Mom, and to the 2 most perfect little girls ever. How did I ever get so lucky? I always felt, before I had my kids, that mom' have a click. If you are a mom you are allowed in, if you aren't a mom, your out. Period. That seems self righteous to me.

What about all the aunts, babysitters, neighbors, friends, teachers and family who know, love and care for your children. Shouldn't they be honored too? I am trying to take this day for what it is, a day to honor Mothers. Which means a day to honor the woman who do EVERYTHING and then some all while loving their families. I think its a great concept. I guess my fertility bitterness is something I will carry with me forever.

For all you moms out there, Happy Mothers Day! Thank you for all your hard work and dedication. The world would be a sad lonely place without a Mom whose shoulder you could cry on and whose lap you could crawl into. I, personally, have an amazing Mom who LOVES me always, and I know that, and honestly that is that most important job of a Mom, to make her family fill loved. I am doubly blessed because I also have an amazing mother in law who also makes me feel loved and who respects me. I am blessed to have amazing Mom's in my life and great examples of strong women who have conquered the difficulties of motherhood with a blink of an eye, or at least thats how they have made it seem. I am surrounded by great examples of awesome women blessed to be mothers.

I will try to let the sting of infertility rest tomorrow and embrace the love and respect that Mothers Day is suppose to be about. But I wont forget all those sad souls who will have trouble just getting out of bed tomorrow. My heart will be aching along with theirs and I will be praying that they too one day, get to experience this amazing journey that is called Motherhood. I will not be arrogant or overly prideful, I will feel more blessed and honored than ever before. Thank you Lord for this blessing you have trusted me with.